I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
