My first STD was from a foam party
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
