It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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