I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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