If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
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The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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