dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
