yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
