So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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