i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
