Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
