Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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