i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
