He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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