none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
even my farts smell like vagina
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
