He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
