I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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