Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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