I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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