i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
