Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
