There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This beer is not sobering me up at all
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
