Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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