i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
