I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
