Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.