great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.