hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.