I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
