For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
