Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
