Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
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I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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