i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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