R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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