I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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