woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
