when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
