Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
