i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
