I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
