she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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