I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
