Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I intend to get homeless drunk
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
