You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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