It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
