I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
