I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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