i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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