I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I have aggressive nipples.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
