Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
