the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
