so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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