I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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