Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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