she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
