Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
