I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
