I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
