Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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