addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
