As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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