You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
